Skip to content

Absurd, ad-free comedy on Dropout TV

The Bellenuit Telegraph

A NEW SEASON OF DIMENSION 20 ADVENTURES

MacLeod's 'Zephyr' Sails into the Cutting Edge of Aviation

Group Photo

“Cloudward, Ho!” is the cry across the bow of the ship as the crew of the Zephyr bustles to prepare for their upcoming voyage. Though this is not the first time this crew has taken to the sky, by any means, it is certainly the most ambitious expedition they have ever undertaken. “Well listen,” Comfrey MacLeod, captain of the Zephyr and famously the inventor of Friodynamics, tells me, as though sharing a secret. “The world of Gath? That’s old news. There’s very little to be discovered about this world, you know? Circumventing the world is hardly as frightening as everyone is making it out to be, darling.” It’s hard to disagree with MacLeod; the Captain strides from crew member to crew member with an alluring grin and a confident swagger that makes her impossible to resist. She pats the back of the Zephyr’s resident ranger and wilderness guide, Montgomery LaMontgommery, and throws the dashing Daisuke Bucklesby a wink as he passes, hat slung low. Bucklesby, who was once the most Wanted Man in Pilsby, is clearly uncomfortable with the amount of press on site for today’s launch.

“Once an outlaw, always an outlaw,” MacLeod laughs, when I ask her about it (attempting to ask Bucklesby directly resulted in the man disappearing from view entirely). “But he’s good people, and not half bad to look at, so I keep him around.” The Zephyr’s Boatswain, Vanellope Chapman, pays no mind to the cameras and reporters crowded around. Chapman, a descendant of the legendary, seafaring Chapman family, is the first of the Chapmans to crew in the skies. She sports a permanently windswept hairdo, even though the ship has yet to take to the clouds, which may be attributed to the way the tall, broadshouldered woman strides across the deck purposefully, yelling out orders to various crew members. Where MacLeod checks in with each crew member with a soft touch and a charming smile, Chapman lays down the law, barking instructions and reprimands in MacLeod’s wake. When I ask if she’s nervous for the voyage, Chapman stares at me blankly. “Nervous?” She asks, as if the word is not a part of her vocabulary. “What for – HAUNCH! PULL THAT ROPE TAUT, YOU BILGERAT!” That’s about the end of the time I get with Chapman before she’s striding off to keep the crew in line.

The only crew member seemingly safe from Chapman’s intense scrutiny is Marya “The Kid” Junková, a Scrapsylvanian prodigy who swings from the ropes with a carefree laugh and a starry-eyed expression. At only twenty-three, one might mistake The Kid for a newcomer to the crew, but she’s been in the skies with MacLeod and Chapman since the beginning, when she was in her mid-teens.

“She’s a genius,” MacLeod says fondly, ruffling Junková’s hair when the girl lands next to her, cooing at the baby in MacLeod’s arms. It’s hard to distinguish the fondness MacLeod exudes when looking at her grandchild from when she’s looking at Junková. “When I found her in that scrap heap, I just knew she was somethin’ special. And look at her now! Why, she’ll be overtakin’ me as a Captain any day now!” “Perhaps I will start a mutiny on this voyage across Gath,” Junková teases. Despite MacLeod’s praise, and her skill for sky-riding that far surpasses her years, her age is evident in the boundless mischief in her eyes and the ever-present laughter in her expression. When MacLeod swats at her, both fond and warning, The Kid simply laughs and takes off on the ropes once more, attempting to swipe Bucklesby’s hat as she passes. Her peals of laughter ring out across the deck, and Montgomery LaMontgommery chuckles fondly as he looks after her.

Hark! The skies of gath call you

Hark! The Skies of Gath Call to You!

It's that time again, when those brave enough to ride the currents gather and celebrate. The wind in our hair, the bugs in our teeth, the taste of adventure; it's all right there above us.

Join us for the 5th Annual Wind Riders Society Meeting! Wednesday, June 4th @ 6pm, at the Hotel Ipswitch Drinks and appetizers are provided. A jacket is required, preferably made of windswept leather. Open to all Wind Riders, contact the "Wind Riders Society" to join today! (Following last year’s incident, all explosives must be coat checked)

The Storm You Must Embrace

Opinion piece by Johnny Haldoon

I'm sure you've all heard it. The incessant yapping, the piddling comments, the inflated guffawing all over one topic: The Queen’s Smog. Now, we've all been lead around by our fears before, the dark clouds looking ominous in the distance. Yet what did those dark clouds contain? Nurturing rain. Now rain, it can be dangerous. You can catch a cold, you can drown – but it is a gift if used responsibly. The same can be said for Widow’s Breath. Anti-Queen’s Smog propaganda has been on the lips of some, true, but these are cowards who would shrink at the sight of storm clouds. The rest of us? We have been living with it, using it. Personally I inhale Widow’s Breath in planned, deliberate doses, and have found the health benefits remarkable. My jaundice? Gone. Gout? Gone. -- Those dreaded inflictions have been washed away, and I am left with a warm buzzing, and so I invite you to do the same. Breathe in deeply, and be not afraid of the storm. Within it, you will harness the lightning needed to cast aside your own aches and dreads.

Independent, ad-free, uncensored comedy.

Signup for our Newsletter

© 2025 Dropout Connected Ventures. All rights reserved.

  ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML """"""""""""""""""""` """"""""""""""""""""" MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF }$MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM jMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM jMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM '$MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, gMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, gMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM $MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMg, gMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML |MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMg,, ,ggMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ]MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM ]$MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMR }%MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF 4MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMML *%MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF '%MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM* `*%MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM* ?%%MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM" `*%%MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM*" ??%%NMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMT+ '}T?*fff****fff*Tf}"